When to tell and when to ask?

What is the difference between managing and coaching? Where managing is a more direct approach that involves telling and giving specific instructions, coaching involves asking questions, facilitating and exploring possibilities. As a leader, you will likely be required to take both these approaches at different times.

 Manager:

• Telling Style

• Performance based

• Managers agenda

• Response: Adoption

• Attached to solution

• Large power differential

• Describes what and why

Coach:

• Asking Style

• Growth / Development Based

• Coachees’ agenda

• Response: Awareness

• Not attached to solution

• Small power differential

• Supports the ‘how’

The Telling vs Asking spectrum illustrates these different styles of relating.

​​Styles of relating – Telling vs Asking 

Focus – The manager sets the criteria for success. The coach helps the individual navigate to obtain success. 

Agenda - At a minimum the manager needs adoption of the rules and the coach at a minimum is creating personal awareness. 

Attachment to solution - The manager is focused on outcomes; the coach is focused on what the coachee is seeking. 

Power Differential - High power differential is inherent in the manager title and role. The coach still has some power as the individual is growing and changing they are vulnerable to the input given by the coach. 

What/Why/How - Managers define WHAT the outcomes or results needed to achieve and WHY that is important to the company, clients, employees etc. The coach supports the individual to discover HOW to act in order to achieve the What and the Why.

See the attached worksheet and reflect on the advantages and disadvantages of these different approaches, thinking about different situations where they would suitable.

When would you use a coaching approach?