Emotional Intelligence at Work
The Four Quadrant Model of Emotional Intelligence, developed by Daniel Goleman, is a tool for individuals who want to improve their emotional intelligence. Displayed in a two-by-two grid, each section of the quadrant takes a closer look at both internal and external areas of emotional intelligence.
According to John Mayer (University of New Hampshire psychologist and one of the first to study emotional intelligence) self-awareness is being “aware of both our mood and our thoughts about mood.” It is also explained by Goleman (2002) as the ability to read and understand your emotions as well as recognise their impact on others. It can simply be put that self-awareness is a basic understanding of how we feel and why we feel that way. The more we are aware of our feelings that easier they are to manage and dictate how we might respond to others.
Self-Management, or self-regulation, can be defined as the ability to manage one’s actions, thoughts, and feelings in flexible ways to get the desired results. Optimal self-regulation contributes to a sense of well-being, a sense of self-efficacy or confidence, and a sense of connectedness to others. The goal is for a self-regulating individual to be able to take his or her emotional responses as cues for both action and coping effectively in relationships. It is important to have an understanding of self-awareness first in order for this to be possible.
Social awareness is the ability to accurately notice the emotions of others and “read” situations appropriately. It is about sensing what other people are thinking and feeling to be able to take their perspective using your capacity for empathy.
The ability to take one’s own emotions, the emotions of others, and the context to manage social interactions successfully leads to social skills in managing others. This quadrant pulls together the other dimensions and creates the final product – relationship management. Often if we have the other three dimensions figured out, this will flow more naturally. This can be known as “friendliness with a purpose” or getting desired responses when working with others. Relationship management can be used to influence those around us to make a good decision. We can sense other’s reactions to the situation and fine-tune our response to move the interaction in a positive direction. It is critical that this is a genuine attempt to help everyone reach the best possible outcome and not to ever become an act of manipulation for self-interest.
In summary, Emotional intelligence is:
Self-awareness NOT self-obsession
Managing NOT suppressing emotions
Demonstrating empathy NOT overwhelming sympathy
Handling relationships NOT being nice
Think of someone with low EI. What are their behaviours and their impact on others at work?
Think of someone with high EI. What are the behaviours they display and their impact on the situation and the people around them?
If you’d like to learn more about EQ at work, see our article on the Emotionally Intelligent Leader here
